The foreigner play I thought

The foreigner play

I thought they were screwed for sure, but no. They walked back in after the battle fit as a fiddle, no spastic movements, no cat-choking-on-a-hairball sounds, no sudden switch to digital camera. No precautions against getting infected by the zombie theyd captured aside from a single rusty chain. Heck, that head army guy was standing about a foot or two away from him. Bodily fluids easily could have crossed that gap. A little spittle, a little projectile vomitting, and uh-oh. Failure to follow the obvious, common sense rule that dictates that if you and your mate are in a dark mansion with zombies running around loose, you do not, for Gods sake, split up. Failure to follow the eminently sensible maxim elucidated by one Scott Evil, in which, once youve decided to shoot a guy, you get a gun and shoot him. You dont detail a couple of your guys to march them through the woods to an execution site and then shoot them. A: Wait a minute, wait a minute! If they shoot them in the house, they have to go through the trouble and bother of taking the bodies someplace to dump them. Easier to make them move themselves. Q: Theyve got those trucks, right? Theyre making regular trips back and forth to that barricade, they can dump the bodies along the way somewhere. Q: Now where was I? The army guys, yes, they were pretty stupid. And nasty too, ready to engage in gang rape after 4 weeks of no women. Had the foreigner play never gone that long before? Id hate to see what happens on ships at sea in the Royal Navy. A: Yeah well, you know, its not quite the same here. The constraints of civilization have been lifted by the collapse thereof. Q: Perhaps. But the head army guy stopped the men the first time they tried to rape Celine, and he even gave her back her machete, an odd thing to do with someone you intend to rape later. Q: Of course, all the stupidity and nastiness on the part of the army guys notwithstanding, our Handsome Hero Jim wins the stupidity Grand Prize, hands down, when, in his attempt to rescue the ladies from the clutches of the gang-raping soldiers, he deliberately sets the chained-up zombie loose in the mansion with them in it, thus exposing them to a very grave risk of, not just a hideously gruesome death, but also a fate that is arguably much, much worse than death, never mind rape. A: Yeah, that was a humdinger, wasnt it? Q: Yes indeedy. I dont think anything can top that. Though I think the cherry on top of this frothy, whipped confection was the film-makers little joke, of having the protagonist Jim carry around, as his primary weapon, a baseball bat. Q: In the frame of mind this film put me in, the spectre of poor Jim forced to resort to carrying around the symbol of the American national pastime as his only defense, Im half tempted to go off on a rant about gun control. A: Heh. Guns dont kill zombies, people kill zombies. Q: Yeah, but film would have been a lot different if set in America. In England, guns are so tightly controlled that when something like this hits, the nasty, evil soldiers have plenty of guns and lots and lots of bullets apparently, but ordinary the foreigner play are forced to make do with machetes and baseball bats and makeshift molatov cocktails. Yes, of course, were not going to have a zombie invasion any time soon, but A: Al-righty then, I think were all done here. Thanks for reading folks. Q: Wait a minute, wait a minute! Let me make my point. I was going to say, when people give up their A: Yep, definitely all done. Move along folks, nothing more to see here. It could be Bunnies! Yes, after two years I still just have to do that. Sorry.